ReadMEOnline

So my English-born partner had a good laugh when I suggested going to Stratford because everywhere would be busy on a bank Holiday Monday with dry, sunny and 32C, so I’d rather go somewhere internationally busy rather than crammed with the same uniform Bri’ish so I can at least relate to the crowd more. It’s similar to when I described the interior rattle my Lexus makes as quality, as opposed to cheap rattle, which she also found funny. There might only be busy and rattle for her but international crowd and quality rattle make a whole lot of difference in my world.

So we get there and yes it was internationally busy and while I had no clue what she meant when she said in a banter that she got her webbed toes separated until she explained it to me, with the American woman (person, sorry, must be careful online) from Colorado, who sat down next to us, I could hold a chat and when she said she’d heard that the weather was not this nice and it was raining last week, I could let her know that they probably meant the last decade. Unlike with the Bri’ish, it was so refreshing to understand every single world she said.

Even if you get to the level when you understand most the Bri’ish say you have no foooking chance with the banter. You must be born here to get the banter. I’d never ever in all my fck’d up life, no matter how much English I’d learn, would have a chance to find out what the fck webbed toes mean which a simple random chap next to me partner knew intuitively, so he could get the banter.